How Your Mother Wound Impacts Your Self-Perception

By Thema Azize Serwa

It is your mother who teaches you what you deserve.

You either are celebrating this statement or cringing over it. But, our mothers are our teachers of our self-worth. Women who overwork, overgive, and perform for love have learned that behavior from the matriarch in their life.

The behaviors, thoughts, and lifestyles of the women in your bloodline, throughout time, are shaping and molding your mind, body, and spirit. Their choices, their diet, their spiritual awareness is something that you inherited while you were in your mother’s womb.

If you are reading this article, it is because of Divine timing. I hope it will help you recognize that within you, is the capacity to move forward from anything no longer serving you that you inherited from your mother. You are too powerful to hold grudges. You are too spiritually evolved to feel the need to play victim to your experiences. You are so aligned with the core of your being that even in the face of deep seated wounds, you are powerful enough to heal them. This moment is not for the resistant. This moment is not for those who are not ready to take action. It takes work to let things go and move forward. The magic is in your ability to implement the necessary tools. I will share some of those tools in this article and it will grow your capacity to change your interpretation and behaviors with your mother.

Before I go further, I must first recognize my own mother wound. Learning to heal from my personal mother wound led me to found an international company, The Womb Sauna ™, which teaches women worldwide how to #HealEverything. I am also now a professional coach, educator, and ordained interfaith minister, but I have had some dark moments in my life, many of which were connected to my experience with my mother. Those who know me personally know how close my mother and I are. It was not until I became an adult, and I was no longer in my momma’s house, that I began to identify how I was wounded by my mother’s choices. A rage I never knew I could have boiled in my belly. For the first time in my life my mother was no longer my hero and it was traumatic for us both. So, in the work that I do, I see the pain between mothers and daughters, I have experienced it myself and if we are going to heal our bodies, our lives, we must acknowledge and do the necessary work to tell the truth, feel the truth, and move forward in truth. It is time to create new legacies between mothers and daughters.

Where do you begin…

Start with telling the truth of your experience. Too often we give our mothers the pass, “She did the best she could.” Although it may be true for some, that does not change the reality of the impact of your mother’s ignorance or lack of capabilities. It’s ok to feel how you feel and process it.

Secondly, invest in support and tools to help you peel back the layers about your experience with your mom. I offer a Heal Your Mother Wound online class series for this reason, and you are welcome in that space. Other safe spaces are therapy, churches, spiritual centers, rivers, beaches, meditation circles… Find your safe space, show up in it, and let your pain have a witness so it can pass.

Lastly, healing starts with a decision, not an emotion. Are you ready to reframe your story? The story you tell, you must live. Make peace with your past, and move forward. You get to choose peace. Once you choose peace you get to create a lifestyle that demonstrates what your peace looks like. That may be a new style of communication between you and your mother, or no communication at all. There is no right or wrong way to heal and move forward but get clear about your vision and what it takes to manifest it.

Take a moment and say these words out loud, let them be the foundation for what you do next…

Within me is everything I need to know to move forward, be whole, and be healed. Within me is a power so great that no matter what I experience, I can move through it with power and create new experiences for myself. Within me is a spiritual force so profound that it can confuse medical science, override the physical laws of this body, and bring everything into Divine order simply because I choose to believe that I can experience that. There are no limitations. If I need a miracle all I have to do is activate it through faith.

And so it is, as you see it.


Thema Azize Serwa, pioneer and founder of The Womb Sauna, is a best selling author, public educator, and ordained interfaith minister. She brings a unique expression of the trendy vsteam experience, by servicing high profile women in a 1-on-1 intimate environment, and providing a vaginal (yoni) steam treatment that offers over 25 biopsychosocial health benefits in just one session.

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